Swine not?

Just when you thought it was safe to wallow in the sty again …


We knew smoking was hazardous to your health, but who imagined ... ? Apologies to The Twilight Zone.

The WHO (not to be confused with The Who) has declared that the H1N1 flu strain, aka the dread swine flu, is now a full-blown pandemic. Of course the World Health Organization had to wait until it was absolutely sure that the story had left the 24/7 news shouting cycle before making the announcement.

Not ones to hyperventilate unnecessarily, our friends at NPR report the following news in very calm, reassuring tones: “WHO Director-General Margaret Chan told reporters Thursday morning that its flu experts unanimously agreed that a pandemic has begun.

‘Collectively, we are satisfied this virus is spreading to a number of countries and is not stoppable,’ Chan says.”

But just in case you weren’t fully recovered from the borderline hysteria that accompanied the fearful reports bullhorned across certain media that started in some sleepy Mexican village …

We’re all gonna die!

All right, now that we have settled that, you may return to business as usual. And thanks for tuning in.


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