Some soft-core food porn

A steamy scene. Stir. Fry. Discuss.

It sautes the chicken in a blend of vegetable oil and sesame seed oil.

It sautes the chicken in a blend of vegetable oil and sesame seed oil.

Throws in some fresh onions, bell peppers, ginger root, and allows to saute a bit. Stir occasionally.

Throws in some fresh onions, bell peppers, ginger root, and allows to saute a bit. Stir occasionally.

That is steam rising off the iron skillet, not crappy focus (this time)

That is steam rising off the iron skillet, not crappy focus (this time)

Annnnd, the dish

stir-fry4

I am happy to report that it was (urp!) deelish.

In case you were wondering:

Mr. Dave’s stir-fry — I do not claim copyright to this, cuz it’s kind of open to whatever.

Your basic ingredients:

• Chicken or other fine protein source

• Bell peppers

• Onion

• Snow peas

• Fresh ginger root

• Seasonings: Here’s where you can really add to your particular, ummm, idiom: Ginger, black pepper, garlic, turmeric, cumin, coriander, cardimom (!), curry, all those exotic herbs and spices you never understood. Avoid cinnamon. Personal bias, I admit. Throw in some Szechuan spices if you like heat.

• Sesame seed oil. Secret weapon. Damn, is that stuff good! A few shakes will do (assuming you have the dripper in bottle cap). A little goes a long way.

• Rice, cooked according to package directions (or if you’re illiterate, 2 cups water per cup of dry rice, bring water to a boil, add rice, turn down heat, simmer for 20-25 minutes, fluff with a fork). Oh, wait, you’re illiterate? Nevermind.

Optional: Bean sprouts, water chestnuts, broccoli, asparagus, grapes (really!), mushrooms (if you must, ick), hot peppers, cat liver (ha-ha! Just kidding. Really), any other crap you can think of. (Try Italian sausage, even. Not bad! Chorizo, anyone?Call it MexAsian stir-fry)

Prep time: Eh, 30 minutes or so, although you want to marinate the meat for 2 hours or more. If you’re gonna bother marinating.

DIRECTIONS, if you really need them:

• Marinate chicken (beef, pork, etc., also work, with different soakings) in Italian dressing. Lots of other marinade choices. Chop into bite-size pieces. Marinating is optional if you’re in a hurry or especially hungry I GOTTA EAT RIGHT NOW DAMMIT!

• Chop onions, peppers, etc., into bite-size pieces (rinse before, of course)

• Slice off three or four slivers of fresh ginger root

• Rinse snow peas, any other veggies. Cuz, you know, salmonella. And the boogers of all the fingertips that touched those things before you did. Eeew.

• Turn on stovetop heat. Very important step.

• Have pots and pans on heat. Also very important.

• Water in rice pot (or, if you’re really fancy, rice steamer)

• Oil in skillet. This is not the time to trot out the evoo —olive oil has a very low smoke level. Get yer basic vegetable oil, corn oil, peanut oil (allergy alert!), whatever, and for an excellent Asian accent, throw in a little sesame seed oil. A little goes a long way.

• About 10-15 minutes into rice cooking, throw chicken/meat on fire (ahem, skillet). Saute/fry for 5 minutes or so.

• Add peppers, other water-dense veggies. Stir-fry for about a minute

• Add onions. Fresh garlic? Do it now. Stir-fry

• With about 5 minutes left, throw in snow peas, grapes, any other items that will cook quickly or wilt with too much heat — say, spinach or bok choi. Throw in spices and seasonings.

• Stir rice and stir-fry one last time, let sit for about 5 minutes, serve with soy sauce and your favorite condiments saved from your last takeout/delivery from your favorite neighborhood Chinese restaurant or sushi joint.

Mmm, mmm, deelish.

Oh, you probably don’t want to eat the ginger root chunks.

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